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Lyrics


Three Legged Dog Cover I Digress
He Doesn't Know It Yet
I Told You So
Tattoo
Bottoms Up
The Great Indoorsman
Slim Pickin's
The 3-Legged Dog
What Are You Waiting For?
I Wish You Strength

I DIGRESS             MP3       RM
Tim Bays, Emily Kaitz
© 2001 In Cahoots Music (ASCAP)/Pingleblobber Music (BMI)

Verse 1
I was talking with my honey
Who said I make her crazy
The way that I'll get started
And not finish out a story
In the middle of a sentence
I'll have a whole new thought
My eyes'll just glaze over
And my words'll wander off
Then suddenly the names'll change
Along with the location
And my train of thought won't make it
To the intended station
As I think of locomotives
Trying to cross the Wild West
Where Comanches wait in ambush….
But, excuse me, I digress...

Verse 2
I was talking with my honey
Who says that that I'm a flake
But that just gets me thinking
Bout a trip I made upstate
It was snowing hard when I went out
To take a little walk
And found these giant footprints
The trail of Sasaquatch
I followed them into a cave
Where it was dank and dark
In my ears the pounding
Of the blood within my heart
As I found this pile of bones
And determined they were fresh
Then I heard this sound behind me…
But, excuse me, I digress...

Bridge
Yes, I digress...because I can
I digress...therefore I am

Verse 3
I was talking with my honey
Bout all of my digressions
Agreeing I would stop
My continuity transgressions
I promised her that I would change
And got down on my knees
Thinking I would ask her
If she would marry me
But then I noticed where the carpet tacks
Were starting to pull loose
Went off to get a hammer
Found my daddy's box of tools
And it took a couple hours
To rearrange that mess
And sharpen all his chisels…
But, excuse me, I digress...

Verse 4
Well I went looking for my girlfriend
But I only found a note
Saying she was at her momma's
She'd given up all hope
So I hopped into my pickup
Headed out to get her back
But on my way I had to cross
Those fateful railroad tracks
And I was still astraddle'em
When my engine died
As the evening Zephyr
Came rolling down the line
I would've jumped but my old dog
Was tied up in the bed
As that train came bearing down on us…
But, excuse me, I digress...

Verse 1 repeat
Yeah, I was talking with my honey
Who said I make her crazy
The way that I'll get started
And not finish out a story...


HE DOESN'T KNOW IT YET             MP3       RM
Tim Bays, Curt Bair
© 1995 Sony/ATV Tunes LLC (ASCAP)/Acuff-Rose Music, Inc. (BMI)

Verse 1
See that fella laughing by the bar
I guess he doesn't realize his world just fell apart
Cause the woman who he thinks is there at home has packed and left
He just doesn't know it yet

Verse 2
He could've sworn she'd never leave
An the alibis he gave her were something she believed
Well, tonight he's gonna give her a whole lot more respect
He just doesn't know it yet

Chorus
He doesn't know it yet
But once he does it's something he's not likely to forget
Now he's about as lonely as a man could ever get
He just doesn't know it yet

Verse 3
He always said that he coukd live without her
And if she ever left he'd never think a thing about her
Well, tonight he'll get the chance to put his theories to the test
He just doesn't know it yet

Chorus repeat


I TOLD YOU SO             MP3       RM
Tim Bays, Ron Sowell
© 1999 In Cahoots Music (ASCAP)/Story Circle Music (BMI)

Verse 1
Looking in the window of a Texaco
The lights are off they've all gone home
And I wish that we could do the same
You told me I should use a map
Told me I should stop and ask
Or at least get gas, before it rained

Chorus
So go ahead and say it, I know that you're dying to
And I could not resist it, f I was standing in your shoes
Say I told you so, I told you so

Verse 2
Laying down her at the bottom of a ladder
Thinking about a chiropractor
Pretending this don't really hurt
Cause you told me I should hire someone
Someone strong, preferably young
Well, honey sometimes you can be a jerk

Chorus
So go ahead and say it, I know that you're dying to
And I could not resist it, f I was standing in your shoes
Say I told you so, I told you so


TATTOO             MP3       RM
Tim Bays
© 2005 In Cahoots Music (ASCAP)

Verse 1
She called on her new cell phone from somewhere at the mall
I could hear her girlfriends laughing by her side
She said that she was next in line there at the tattoo stall
And she'd just called to ask if I would mind…and I said,

Chorus 1
Momma you're too old for a tattoo
And while you're under my roof you'll do what I say to do
So come home from the mall cause I don't care if all your buddies
From the senior center want one too
Momma you're too old for a tattoo

Verse 2
I said you should be enjoying the autumn of your life
Not trying to relive the long lost Spring
You were 7 times a mother and 40 years a wife
And you look creepy in a bellybutton ring?

Chorus 2
Momma you're too old for a tattoo
And while you're under my roof you'll do what I say to do
You should be buying quilting cloth not dressing like some Goth
With black lipstick and your hair that shade of blue
Momma you're too old for a tattoo

Bridge
Why can't you be like other mommas just as old as you
With a nose job and a tummy tuck and implants in your boobs
Hey, why not just use Botox till your face is just a mask?
Why can't you be normal now is that too much to ask?

Chorus 3
I said Momma you're too old for a tattoo
And while you're under my roof you'll do what I say to do
You're almost 83 and should be watching Jeopardy
Instead of hitting on some kid of 62
Momma you're too old for a tattoo

Tag
Besides some rose upon your breast would just go sliding down your chest
Into your navel in another year or two
Momma you're too old for a tattoo


BOTTOMS UP             MP3       RM
Tim Bays
© 2005 In Cahoots Music (ASCAP)
Thanks to Jack Turner for the idea

Verse 1
The doctors say at 50 get a colonoscopy
And if you wonder what a colonoscopy might be
It's an exploratory entry where nobody ought to be
Yes, a penetrating peek inside your slacks
An intimate inspection of that holy place in back

Verse 2
And that puts a whole new meaning on the phrase, "Now open wide"
It's good to go to see the doc but who wants one inside?
They tell me that it doesn't hurt but I suspect they lied
Still it's something everybody needs
Even if it drives you to your knees
I'm talkin' 'bout a colonoscopy…so

Chorus
Bottoms up (bottoms up) here's to you (here's to you)
For exploring every single avenue (avenue)
And for caring about yourself enough (yes, enough)
Here's to you (here's to you) bottoms up (bottoms up)

Verse 3
Yes, it's hard to see a problem down where the sun don't shine
And doctors say a screening will shed a little light
And even if you're feeling now that everything is fine
Wouldn't it be good to know that's true?
Cause we don't have the doctor's point of view
That's something even gymnasts can not do…so

Chorus
Bottoms up (bottoms up) here's to you (here's to you)
For exploring every single avenue (avenue)
And for caring about yourself enough (enough)
Here's to you (here's to you) bottoms up (bottoms up)


THE GREAT INDOORSMAN             MP3       RM
Tim Bays/Curt Bair
© 1996 Sony/ATV Cross Keys (ASCAP), Acuff-Rose Music (BMI)

Verse 2
With his bottled spring water and his pine-scented air
And a breeze from a ceiling fan blowing through his hair
He camps out by the TV set beside a gas log fire
And hunts for the remote control in camouflage attire
Goes fishing in the bottom of the bag for one last chip
Hikes out to the kitchen for the jalapeno dip....Oh,

Chorus
He's the Great Indoorsman
His whole world's inside four walls
He's the Great Indoorsman
It's a small, small world after all

Verse 2
With the sound of the ocean playing on the stereo
Bikinied girls from Waikiki on the video
In his brand new sun-lamp tan he's surfing on the net
Sailing all around the world and never getting wet
He's dropped out of the rat race oh, but now He's got a mouse
And that's the only wildlife allowed inside the house...Cause,

Chorus

SLIM PICKIN'S             MP3       RM
Tim Bays
© 1990 In Cahoots Music (ASCAP)

Verse 1
Slim pickins for a man of my age
There's hardly any women left it seems
They're all married or divorced or running scared
Or simply not into men
Well, it's all such a fight or the timing's not right
Now a good woman's hard to find
But what did I expect, I'm not the very best
Specimen of my kind…..and it's

Verse 2 Slim pickings for a man of my age
Just scraps from the table of love
Like the second hand clothes you try on those
That have served another so well
And if it ain't a good fit, you adjust a bit
Love don't come tailor-made
Just the way it is cause the picking\s get slim
For a man of my age

Bridge
Now I'm poorly recommended
My credit at the love bank's shot
But if experience counts for something people
Think of all I've got
And if practice makes perfect, I've practiced a lot
And someday I'll get it right
Just like you, brother, out on the rebound
And looking for love tonight

Verse 3
Slim pickins for a man of my age
Like a coat from that second hand store
But if you take your time, you just might find
Someone to keep you warm
Cause as the chances go, the perfect soul
Will be waiting with a well-worn smile
And it's not if it's used, but how it fits on you
And that's just a question of style

Bridge
She might be poorly recommended
With her credit at the love bank shot
But if experience counts for something people
Think of all she's got
And if practice makes perfect, she's practiced a lot
And someday she'll get it right
Just like us brother, out on the rebound
And looking for love tonight

Tag
And I hope she finds it
Man, I hope ALL of us find it


THE 3-LEGGED DOG             MP3       RM
Tim Bays/Mike Rayburn/Rick Wainright
© 2005 In Cahoots Music/Lost Paddle Music (ASCAP)/Rick Wainright

Verse 1
Sometimes I feel like a three-legged dog
Hopping all around in a self pity fog
But then I start thinkin' 'bout all I can do
And how bad it'd be if I had only two
How bad it'd be if I had only two

Verse 2
If they were on one side I could only lie down
With both in (the) front I'd butt-scoot around
But it'd be much worse with 2 in the rear
Like wearing a sign saying "kick me here"
Like wearing a sign saying "kick me here"

Chorus
Three-legged dog, I'm a three-legged dog
Happy as a clam or a bump on a log
Slower than a turtle but smarter than a hog
Thank the Lord, I'm a three-legged dog

Verse 3
If it was one right front and one left back
Life would be a balancing act
It'd be hard to pee and hard to shake
Either one'd be a big mistake
Either one'd be a big mistake

Verse 4
With only one leg and no matter which one
I'd go in circles when I tried to run
With no legs at all I'd be a hairy little bag
And instead of a walk they'd take me for a drag
Instead of a walk they'd take me for a drag

Chorus

Verse 5
Now I love what I got and do the best I can
What I ain't got ain't a part of who I am
I can still chase a cat, fetch a ball or a stick
As long as you don't need it back real quick
Long as you don't need it back real quick


WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?             MP3       RM
Tim Bays
© 2003 In Cahoots Music (ASCAP)
From a conversation with Greg Risberg 8/6/03

Verse 1
I was dreaming of moving to Nashville and writing a big hit song
When my dad who had just retired asked me why I was taking so long
He said trying to get all my ducks in a row was a matter of fear
And if I had a passion then jump and believe that the net would appear...he said,

Chorus 1
What are you waiting for? Why do you start and stop?
Life is an open door. There is no need to knock
Does the sea have to part, a thunderbolt strike
When deep in your heart you know what is right?
If you truly believe that good is what God holds in store
Tell me what, what are you waiting for?

Verse 2
Well I made the move, started writing some songs and met the woman I'd marry
But falling in love when your 40 years old can be pretty darn scary
So like porcupines mating we circled commitment in a careful dance
Till she finally pointedly told me she thought we should take the chance...She said,

Chorus 2
What are we waiting for? Why do we start and stop?
Love is an open door. There is no need to knock
Does the sea have to part, a thunderbolt strike
When deep in your heart you know what is right?
So what are we doing here dancing a groove in the floor?
Tell me what, what are you waiting for?

Bridge
Yeah, everybody out there has their big and little dreams
From a 65 Mustang to having a baby to world-wide peace...well, tell me

Chorus 3
What are we waiting for? Why do we start and stop?
Life is an open door. There is no need to knock
Does the sea have to part, a thunderbolt strike
When deep in our hearts we know what is right?
To leave this world just a bit better than it was before
Tell me what, what are we waiting for?

Tag
If you truly believe that good is what God holds in store
Tell me what, what are you waiting for?


I WISH YOU STRENGTH             MP3       RM
Tim Bays/Jana Stanfield/Matt Wilder
© 2003 In Cahoots Music, Jana Stan Tunes, Wilderness Music (ASCAP)

Verse 1
I wish you strength
To rise unafraid
Like the new morning sun
Taking on the day
Because when you shine
How the clouds roll away
I wish you strength

Verse 2
I wish you faith
That you'll overcome
Whatever you face
Till your journey is done
Beyond any words
Just as certain as Grace
I wish you faith

Bridge
And I wish you could see
The you that I see
As you stand at the edge
Of possibility
I pray you will find
All that you need

Verse 3
I wish you peace
That comes from within
A gentle release
From all that might have been
\Like the stillness that comes
Between waking and sleep
I wish you peace

Repeat Bridge

Repeat Verse 1

Tag
I wish you faith
I wish you peace
I wish you well


318 Meadowglade Lane - Franklin, TN 37064 - phone: (615) 400-0458


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